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Month: February 2016

Pink Eye / Stink Eye

Pink Eye / Stink Eye

    It’s likely that after an exhausting, protracted battle one could teach one’s child how to be careful in the bathroom to one’s satisfaction. But one can’t get past the nightmare of the child leaning over too far and cracking his head on the porcelain tub, or the tile floor, or the sharp cabinet corner, or some horrific combination of all these things in one stunning accident. So the child wiping his own butt is, at this point, on…

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More Fucking Scorpions

More Fucking Scorpions

    They had sent numerous scouts in recent days and none had returned alive, maybe this time when their golden boy didn’t come back they might finally get the message. We must have had 5 kills in half as many days. You have to be careful with these bastards, they terrify for sport. Their weapon of choice: the night raid. I never go to the kitchen or bathroom without proper eyewear and absolutely never in the dark. Well. Honor…

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